I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
