Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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