white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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