There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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