between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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