Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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