Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
