I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
