then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
