I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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