you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
