but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
