got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize