and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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