I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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