Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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