so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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