porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
