His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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