I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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