You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
