Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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