he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
