you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
