So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
