well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Slut skills are useful in every country.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
