the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
