Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She made me pour olive oil on her.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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