It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
