He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
