Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
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