So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
