I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
