so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Randomize
