I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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