trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
