i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
