But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
