508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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