I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
