And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
