i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
