fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
