I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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