Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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