I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He felt like a one man threesome
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
