God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
