You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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