im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
