I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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