My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
