Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
