I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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