Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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