Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
