I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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