you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
