im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
They took my balls.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
