As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
