its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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