guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
