I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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