I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I use my feet as sexual weapons
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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