A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize