Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
do nipples grow back?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
